Avos 5:10

בס׳ד

אבות ה:י

Four are the measures of human interaction: Mine is mine, and yours is yours - this trait is the norm; But some say: this is the trait of Sodom. Mine is yours, and yours is mine - here’s the simpleton! Mine is yours, and yours is yours - here’s the pious! Mine is mine, and yours is mine - here’s the wicked!

אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בָּאָדָם. הָאוֹמֵר שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, זוֹ מִדָּה בֵינוֹנִית. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים, זוֹ מִדַּת סְדוֹם. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, עַם הָאָרֶץ. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, חָסִיד. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, רָשָׁע:

        Our material possessions pose an immense spiritual challenge.  The way we relate to them - and especially our willingness to place them at others’ disposal - speaks much about our ultimate values.  This mishnah defines and expresses its judgements about four common ways in which people deal with the tensions aroused by possessions and the necessary inequality that private property entails. It is not about tzedakah, per se (see Avos 5:13), but rather the way we deal with our wealth in cases in which there is no specific halakhic guideline or requirement.  This is the real test of our ability to see beyond materiality.

        The person who says “mine is mine and yours is yours” makes no claim upon another’s property, but in return he announces that no one may make a claim on him.  The mishnah’s dispute about the moral evaluation of such a person is interesting.  The Sage who composed the basic list thinks it is pretty much how most people behave.  It’s not laudable, but it’s no sin either.  By contrast, some authorities condemn this behavior as the kind of thing practiced by the evil people of Sodom.  The reason is that, in situations of profound inequality of wealth, it justifies complete abandonment of the poor.  The Tanna seems to be basing his judgement on a pasuk in Yehezkel that condemns the people of Sodom in the following way: “See! This was the sin of your sister, Sodom - pride!  She and her daughters had plenty of bread and placidity, but she didn’t support the poor and needy!” (Yehezkel 16:49).

        Why is it a simpleminded thing to declare “mine is yours and yours is mine”?  Isn’t this the height of egalitarianism?  The mishnah’s judgement is that this attitude ignores fundamental traits of human nature.  It is our prerogative to give what is ours to another.  But if we make our generosity conditional upon another’s decision to do the same thing we impose a demand that is likely to cause conflict rather than community.  So a person making such a declaration may mean well, but he’s headed for the opposite of what he desires.

        The precise opposite of the simpleton’s statement is that of the pious person, the hasid in the mishnah’s terminology.  He makes his generosity without conditions.  “Take all I have and keep what is yours for yourself !” Since he is absolutely self-giving and asks for nothing in return, he will be a source of healing and unity rather than a well-meaning bungler.

        Finally, a person who keeps his and wants yours - what can he be but a  rasha !

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